Today I bought the plane tickets to Guatemala. I wanted to cheer and/or throw up.
Both Bert and I have been having minor panic attacks. Every now and then, one of us will turn to the other and say something like, "We're crazy! Are we crazy? We're crazy." Or, "Nope, can't do it. Changed my mind."
So far, the un-panicked person has been good at reassuring the panicked person!
Here are a list of various things I'm freaking out about:
Natural disasters, such as earthquakes, volcanoes, mudslides, hurricanes, floods, and the sudden outgassing of the lake leading to carbon dioxide poisoning and death.
Crazy and/or criminal people trying to do unpleasant things to me, like robbing all my stuff, or stabbing me, or shooting me, or stabbing me then shooting me, or other nasty things that I try not to think of too much.
Getting sick from the food and water. (Undrinkable tap water? What's the point of having water come out your tap if it's not potable?)
Clogging the toilet. Can't flush toilet paper? Ewww.
Dying in an accident while riding a chicken bus.
Getting hit by a chicken bus while walking.
A chicken bus driving off a road and into my house, crushing me in my bed while I sleep.
(Chicken buses are scary.)
Being overwhelmed with sadness at the stray dogs.
Being overwhelmed by the poverty.
Getting killed because I inadvertently offend someone. I do that here now and people just shake their heads, or nod and smile and back away slowly. I'm notorious for saying the wrong thing and silencing an entire dinner party!
Unstable Internet; When I was making this list, the first thing I thought of was "unstable Internet". Ha! But it's because of work and communication and information and fun-time. If my Internet goes down, I don't work, and I don't make money, and we can't eat. NEED INTERNET.
When I get panicked, here is what I tell myself to calm down:
LOTS of people have done what we're doing. Heck, even OLD people do it. If those retirees from Florida can do it, why can't I?
Tickets are bought. Apartment is paid for.
No backing out now!
56 more days.
*grin*
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